Damn my procrastination and my many, many failings. This is officially the weekend of flipping out over the parts of this wedding process that I’m the least excited about, or completely unprepared for, or I’m experiencing extreme anxiety over, or all of the above.
Freak Out #1: Engagement Photos
Weeks and weeks of terrible rainy/snowy weather every Monday through Wednesday has long delayed our engagement photo shoot. To be perfectly honest, I’ve been relieved to have so many delays because 1) I’m camera shy and 2) I’m the least photogenic person on the face of this planet. Now it’s really happening because we’ve devised an indoor itinerary in case we can’t take any outdoor photos. Plus, our photographer is trying out new shooters that week, so we’ll have at least one more photographer during this photo shoot. At first I was thrilled, but now it feels like I’ll be running away from the paparazzi. How does one get comfortable in front of the camera? More importantly, how does one get prepared to be in front of a camera?? This leads me to my next freak out…
Freak Out #2: Hair and Make Up Trials
If hair and makeup had standardized exams like math and reading, I could properly quantify my beauty skills and explain that I operate at a 3rd grade level (basic grooming skills mastered–ie-bathing, combing hair–but possesses no advanced skills). Why couldn’t I grow up playing with makeup like a majority of the western world? I can’t even commit to tinted lip gloss, it feels like too much of a beauty responsibility. I need to hire a hair stylist and a make up artist for the day of the wedding and I don’t have the foggiest idea of how to go about doing this because 1) every hairstyle looks equally OK to me and I can’t really pinpoint what makes a good hair stylist, and 2) make up looks like make up to me, not some careful art thing. Pictures of girls with make up on all look the SAME TO ME. I think I have face blindness–or the correct term, prosopagnosia–but mine extends across the painted face and into upswept hair.
Freak Out #2 also bleeds back into Freak Out #1 because I don’t know what to do with my hair or my make up the day of our engagement photo shoot. Should I go somewhere to get a blow out? If so, where? Should I go to a beauty salon to have my make up done? Where? Can I just walk into a department store and ask someone at a make up counter if they’d do my make up for me? Does that cost anything? Do I need an appointment? I don’t even own foundation, people, so this is a serious problem.
Freak Out #3: Save-the-Date photo booth magnets
Ok, so I wasn’t actually freaking out about having to pick a cute photo booth magnet. In fact, I was really excited about this part. Josh and I found so many awesome potential save-the-dates, but my friend Irene convinced us to go with a photo magnet since she said that she’d prefer to have cute pictures of us on her fridge, which she’d keep forever, or until the magnet fell apart. The freak out part is having cute photos of me and Josh that look like they belong on a photo strip, AND that it’s now 5 months before the wedding and I haven’t even ordered these magnets. We have an engagement photo session so no problem, right? (See Freak Out #1) This leads me to slight change of pace…
Crazy Awesomeness #1: Ellen and Stephanie, photographers extraordinaire!
My heroines! Ellen and Stephanie–two of the best coworkers a person could ask for–have agreed to take pictures of me and Josh this coming Monday so I can finally order our save-the-dates. It’s very possible that one of Ellen’s photos will end up on the front cover of a book we’re publishing this fall and Stephanie recently purchased a very schnazzy new camera. Luckily, we work along the waterfront in Hoboken, so we’ll have a gorgeous view of the city for this photo session. Josh and I will be in two sets of very talented hands, but I’m afraid that this Crazy Awesomeness leads me back to Freak Out #2. What on earth am I going to do with my hair and makeup?
I’m breathing deep, drinking some Yogi Breathe Deep, and taking this one step at a time. Of course, if anyone has any suggestions (big or small), I’m ALL EARS!
Connie,
To begin with, you will have Josh with you for the engagement photos, so pay all your attention to him and forget the photographers are there. It will turn out to be a lot of fun if think of this as a date with Josh. Pretend you are in one of those vending machine photo strip booths.
As for your makeup and hair, I have always recommended looking in magazines for inspiration. Since this is not much use to you if it all sort of looks the same, then start thinking about your specific needs and answer a few questions. 1) Do you hate your hair getting in your eyes and face? 2) Does your hair behave differently indoors or outside, dry weather to humid? 3) How does the headpiece / veil need to be attached? 4) Does the gown have details that you don’t want your hair to be covering up? You really have only 3 choices for your hair… down, half up and half down, or all off your face. Remember that the third option could be as simple as a beautiful ponytail (which was seen a lot at the Oscars.) The answers will help you come to some decision on what will be most comfortable for both the photo shoots and wedding day.
As photos of makeup are not of much use to you, speak extensively with the makeup artist first and hear if they understand you. Discuss with them the outfit you will be wearing (color and neckline) so that the makeup will look appropriate. Some makeup questions to ask yourself… 1) Will you be getting emotional and weepy eyed? 2) Do you have any freckles, blemishes or dark circles that you would like to have concealed? 3) Does your face get oily, perspired or has redness that you want some control for?
The decision between going to a makeup counter and a salon is a different matter. To begin with, will sitting at a cosmetic counter in a department store for 30 minutes to an hour with people walking by bother you? If not, find the makeup artist who’s makeup look you like the best (if you can tell), or seems the most understanding to your needs, and work with her/him. The makeup application will most likely be free with an anticipated purchase of products. You will need a lipstick, lipgloss and maybe some powder anyway. Bring someone with you whose opinion you trust for support. And lastly, walk to the nearest window or step outside into natural light before making a final decision.
Another option would be to use a makeup artist at the same salon as your hair. There will be a charge for the makeup session and they will also have the makeup products to sell you. The advantages are that it will be much more private and it is one stop beauty prep (hair and makeup in one.) The down side is that there will be much fewer choices of makeup artists and makeup product lines.
Regardless of who does your makeup, remember that by starting out with a softer look you can always have the artist add a little bit more if you want. Too much makeup is always more difficult to clean up and make look fresh.
I hope that this helps! Best of luck and most importantly, have fun!
Lisa,
You’re an angel! Your advice is 110% helpful, from thinking about being on a date with Josh during our engagement photo shoot to thinking about my hair and make up based on what my actual needs are. Thank you for such a thoughtful and careful response. You’ve seriously put one bride at ease!